// The Thing I Learned Dating After Divorce

Creator and success mentor Rebecca Perkins gives the lowdown on online dating in midlife.

When we stated our wedding vows or made all of our commitments to the partners we never ever dreamed this one day we might be dealing with breakdiscreet hook up sites. We never imagined being required to go out once more. That was my experience anyway. But, following ending of a 20-year matrimony, we acquired the pieces, licked my personal wounds and made the decision that I did wish big date once more however strange and uncomfortable it might feel to achieve this at the start.

This is what we learned and that I share it to you because i recall exactly what it felt like to feel uncomfortable, not sure, and frankly terrified!

  • Decide what you want to get out of online dating sites. If you’re searching for a partner, be honest with yourself and then make that clear within profile. If you’re looking for friendship and just a bit of fun, point out that also. There isn’t any part of dropping for somebody that is trying to find different things than you. It is simply perhaps not planning work and you should become damage and disillusioned.
  • Know your own prices, even before you’ve done very first internet dating profile. What’s vital that you you? Precisely what do you look for in life plus a relationship. This isn’t about a list of needs expected of a potential time by the way! This really is about you and what you hold dear.
  • Enjoy yourself, have fun! Many people address their particular matchmaking as another profession! Reduce, benefit from the process. Cannot go on it or your self too honestly and you’ll meet some great folks on the way.
  • Simply take nothing in person. This is really essential. Look for the terror stories online … bear in mind great tales will not sell together with bad types! You will end up reached by individuals who’ve not necessarily study your profile, you’ll be called by those who are impolite, you will be appreciated and winked at all enough time. Get absolutely nothing yourself. You can select who you’d desire respond to or means. Keep in mind also that lots of you get in touch with won’t react (if good ways are one of the center beliefs this is a challenge!) Simply progress!
  • Experience the correct great attitude before spending your time and effort on dating websites. Any time you enter it with much, bruised center with adverse interior discussion you’re have difficulty. Simultaneously do not enter it naively picturing that you will fulfill your own ideal match immediately. These things devote some time.
  • Compose a compelling and irresistible profile. Numerous profiles tend to be bland and boring therefore it is in fact easy to stand out from the group and it surely will create a huge difference to your experience. (I’m right here to greatly help also, its the thing I like doing.)
  • End up being truthful always. If you are 50 do not say you’re 40. Should you smoke and acquire no physical exercise don’t say that you’re into healthy living. It may appear apparent but you’d be blown away! Honesty is one of my key values plus the base for an excellent connection.
  • If you are stressed about fulfilling right up, spending some time emailing and letter writing. Its what my spouse and I performed and it also ended up being great to see the relationship progress even as we asked questions of each some other including the lighthearted towards the more acute.
  • Be openly minded. You will never know everything you might discover yourself and life by dating some body you’ll not have considered in your past interactions! There can be a richness put into existence as soon as we step out of your comfort areas.
  • Invest in some excellent photos of you looking comfortable, happy and also at convenience. It’ll make all the difference … NO selfies.


Just what good stuff has you learned from online dating sites in midlife?


Following a breakup, Rebecca discovered by herself single and 45 years of age in 2008. She had not dated since she was actually 24 and discovered much had changed. In need of male organization, she made a decision to venture into the courageous „“ new world „“ of internet dating.

Rebecca is co-founder of Irresistible Dating which she setup with top rated dating professional photographer Saskia Nelson. Their unique expertise consist guiding clients into the correct mind-set for internet dating achievements including helping all of them develop a dating profile that sticks out.

She’s a success coach employing ladies to navigate the change of midlife. She has showed up on BBC broadcast 4’s Woman’s hr, BBC London and writes  on a regular basis for The Huffington article.

Rebecca stays in Hertfordshire and loves being in the middle of the woman kiddies, spending some time together with her guy (just who she found on line) and celebrating existence after 50. There is Rebecca getting personal on Twitter and Facebook


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